THE SIDE HUSTLE IS REAL
Money is awesome! But actually HAVING money, makes awesome look like a snot-nosed kid running around in a poop filled diaper. Money is like the kind of bae you confidently take home to your mama, KNOWING she’ll be calling Iya Aso- Asiki to keep 100 yards of lace for your wedding before the Sunday Jollof rice has even finished cooking. It is the boss of the yard and the Wakandan live-in lover of good things (he’ll have you deserting every single one of your family members in 2 clicks of his… Kumkani!! I think this Kimoyo bead belongs to you #wecantotallywakandaforeverandeveryoublackpantheryou). It is no wonder lies have been told, people have been killed and wars are still being waged to win favor from this god of men.
In Nigeria, being poor is worse than being dead. Poverty is a terminal disease, and anyone infected is left out in Angwan Boro to die (if you’re not a northerner think Ajegunle with more spit under your shoe). A filthy rich leprous leper would have more people bobbing along with him in his hot tub time machine than would say hello to a poor man in his lifetime. People believe you have failed at life when you don’t have the means to afford a high standard of living. It does not matter how you came by those means. It does not matter if you are miserable even with free access to those means. It only matters that you have those means. And once you do, you are loved and celebrated by all as a person of ‘substance’. Money gives you an automatic all access pass to hang out with life one on one, not just watch from the crowd of screaming fans while it performs.
We all want to have the life of the rich and the famous. Who doesn’t want to lie on the supple La Prairie Cellular Platinum Rare, one thousand dollars a pop, moisturised lap of luxury, while wealth feeds you grapes and good things gives you a foot massage? I will judge anyone who claims otherwise… right after I’m done climbing over these spa walls and high tailing my freshly massaged ass out of here because I can’t pay for any of this crap!!. Bottom line is WE ALL LOVE MONEY (not so loud before the Bible starts side eyeing us with that root of all evil look). We all love money and for those of us who at one point or another (or always) haven’t been able to pay the rent, take a vacation (that involves an international airport), buy a pair of loubs (so we can be like those girls that the rappers always spit bars about) or are just always on the wrong side of financially stable; this post is for you (with love… and a dash of shade but mostly love).
Let me say this categorically, without mincing one single word. YOU WILL BE BROKE TO THE POINT OF JESUS TAKE ME RIGHT NOW IF YOU ARE AN ACTOR WITHOUT A SIDE HUSTLE!! Don’t pay attention to what it looks like on the outside, every actor that you see flossing and stunting on the gram has a side hustle or a rich family; either way there is money involved that is NOT coming from acting alone. The truth of the matter is this; actors in Nigeria are not paid well. The first thing producers and film executives tell you when they want to cast you for a role is “you know we don’t have a big budget…” and the story usually goes downhill from there. There is room for negotiations but usually it doesn’t come to a whole lot more than was initially offered. At that point, the up-and-coming actor is left to choose between working for peanuts or walking away from the project and what exposure it may have brought your way.
This is one of those fine print things about being an actor that I was telling you about. You go in thinking that all you need to do is get that one good job and you’re a-list career will magically fall into place. Receive knowledge; IT IS NOT SO!! Repeat after me: IT. IS. NOT. SO!!! There are so many elements that come together to make a successful acting career and we’ll talk about them in detail in our next post. But you need to know that ‘super stardom’ doesn’t just happen, it is not a function of luck, prayers, or talent alone (if not we wouldn’t see portraits of Obama roasting on the side of the roads in Abuja). In the time that it takes you to chase down all those different elements, clean em up (because some dirty options come your way believe me) and arrange them in a pretty row, you need to find a way to earn your living. You have to eat, you have to have a place to lay your head down at night, you have to not walk around butt naked because you are not a mad person. These things require money. And I find that acting alone doesn’t make provision for that.
Enter the side hustle. That little extra on the side that keeps your body and soul together (because your soul will literally be like “I didn’t sign up for this hardship, I think we need a break from each other. It’s really not me, it’s you. We just have bad timing”). You can also go the way of the people who are doing this for all the wrong reasons (so not real actors that respect the craft) and be in 20 films/month at 40k (naira) a pop. That certainly will land you a little change in your pocket and flush the industry further down the toilet all in one fell swoop. Now a side hustle can be hard to come by, especially in a society like ours where normal things don’t happen very often (or ever). It’s easy to say “get a job”, what is not easy is actually getting a job that allows you to leave the office for 2 weeks to shoot in Abeokuta. We don’t have systems in place for temporary work, where you list yourself with a temp.agency and can do various jobs temporarily, knowing that you can give yourself 2 weeks off to shoot and jump back on a paying temp.job in between acting gigs. But the condition that made crayfish to bend is the same punk that knocked up necessity and ruined her perfect lady parts when she had to push out that big-headed invention. And if she did it (and won’t quit baby booming and making the rest of us look bad) alas so must we.
If you have any other skills, this is the time to learn ways to monetize them. It is NOT easy; and I can tell you because I am at this stage myself, but it is necessary. If you will not give up on your dream and you will also not lick the oil from a titus sardine can for dinner, then you MUST decide on a side hustle. Dedicate yourself to learning the ropes of that field and stay at it till it yields something for you. This is another tough one but because we keep it real here, ill say it. There is no shame in being at this stage in your career (if you are out there feeling like you should give up). You are building, and a part of building is breaking. No structure is built without breaking ground, or breaking blocks, or breaking stone. But by the time all that was broken is put in it’s right place, something magnificent and useful emerges. For those of you who are easily deterred, you cannot bring that energy into the side hustle, because 9 times out of 10 attempts will most likely suck so bad that you will question the brand of witch that is eating eba with your destiny. But failing does not a failure make (unless you’re name is Nigeria) and if you can just try again, you’ll come through on the other side with more than just sweat in your pockets.
Information is power, so use it. Knowing about the financial hurdles of being a full-time actor is something I wish was an open discussion before I quit paid employment to pursue this full time. It wouldn’t have changed my mind about chasing this dream (nothing can do that), but it would have given me the necessary mental and emotional awareness that helps you stand firm when the tide of brokeness rolls in. And further more it would have set me on the path to developing multiple streams of income much earlier. This is why I started this blog, to help others out there know what goes on in here so that they can make informed decisions and we all can form better rounded opinions of what being an actor entails. So there you have it boys and girls of Nigeria; your dreams are valid and they are achievable with the right tools and guidance. Do what you need to do to ensure that your dreams don’t become nightmares that come to haunt you because you didn’t try to achieve them.
I leave you with the poignant lyrics from one of my fave MI Abaga songs:
Ilekun a shi (doors will open)
Ise owo mi falubarika si (the works of my hands will prosper)
Everything we dey face right go turn stories
We will all be rich, we will all be rich.